Wednesday, June 6, 2012

The Tumbler in Toronto

Today, I clumsily took my first bus ride in Canada - from Square One, Mississauga to Bay Adelaide Centre in Toronto - to take a closer look at that intimidatin monstrosity Lucius Fox first showed to Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins (2005) called the Tumbler and the correspondin unholy eject that is the Batpod...
Front tires are racin tires made by Hoosier, with independent suspension elements inspired by the long-travel suspensions of Baja racing trucks.
When airborne, the front wheels pop out about 30 inches on their suspensions to absorb the shock of a 30-foot fall.
Someone who dresses up as a bat clearly has issues.
Nope, I couldn't find that sonabitch Batman. He was nowhere in sight. However, I did get a full view of this one milf's fluorescent thong ridin up her crack.

Unfortunately for you pervos, I won't post that picture since she is, after all, someone's mum. We all deserve some privacy. But just look at the poor kid. Someone who dresses up as a bat clearly has issues.

Back to the car. It uses a 5.7 litre Chevy V-8 engine. This engine has been tuned so that it can provide the power necessary to take a 2.5 tonne vehicle from zero to 60 mph (100 kph) in 5 seconds. Surely you'd have figured out by now that Batman needs it to be this quick so that he can run away from us supervillains. The coward!

Weighin 2.5 tonnes, the 9'4"-wide and 15'-long creation is apparently not be as heavy as you'd expect. I read that it's because the Tumbler you see drivin around is merely a tube-frame chassis with carbon fiber body panels.
37" rear tires. Four. Why four? Probably because it's scarier than two.
Elaborate flower petal-like cockpit. More like an syphilitic anus if you asked me.
 Jet burner in rear with vector controls for the jet.
Built-in safety link for petrol control and built-in fire extinguisher system.
Did you know that the Tumbler is a Batmobile and the Batpod is a Batcycle?

And did you know that Bruce Wayne drove a gray Lamborghini MurciĆ©lago in both Batman Begins (2005) and The Dark Knight (2008); and that murciĆ©lago is the Spanish for bat?

The perfect weapon against the pestilence that is the Malaysian mat rempit.
The guard looks a bit like Mr Smith from The Matrix, innit?
The most photographed rear in Toronto today.

The good ol' days.
This beast reportedly cost US $250,000 each to build and the studio ordered four constructed. Two were "race" versions for the action shots, one had an actual jet engine bolted in the back, and the other was for the elaborate flower petal-like cockpit. More like an syphilitic anus if you asked me.

So, from the latest trailers of The Dark Knight Rises (2012), it's obvious from that Catwoman and Batman exchange at the end that the latest ride will be able to fly.

Ahh... how I liked it better in the good ol' days.

Click here for further reading on the Batmobile.
Click here for Tumbler tour dates.