"Here's a panda bear, cover up your nipples!"

I could've sworn that chick next to Jackie Chan at the CZ12 (Chinese Zodiac) premiere in KL a few days ago was familiar...

Life Of Pi: Are Indians bad for business?

Tell me I'm not imagining this...

Silly movie merchandise #2: Rise Of The Guardians collectible cup

Do you know what's wrong with these pretzels?

Pretzels... or are they?

Syrian Opposition Protest Rally in Mississauga

This matter is no joke but I had nowhere else to upload it but on this blog, so please save your bullets for someone more deserving.

This has nothing to do with movies but as I was on my way to catch a bus downtown to watch a movie, I found myself in the middle of a protest rally. I believe the effort is identified as the Walk 4 Children Of Syria (Facebook, Twitter, website) and I was caught in the Mississauga leg of the international event, happening simultaneously across several locations yesterday, 17 November 2012.

This is not my war but I thought I'd upload the pictures for you anyway because every humanitarian cause deserves as much attention it can get.

The crowd was about 300 strong and they walked right outside my apartment, which is where I joined them. One guy had a loudspeaker and people shouted out: "When I say FREEDOM, you say NOW", "FREE SYRIA NOW", and "FREE GAZA NOW".

Police escort is customary. No casualties were reported. In fact, I think one of the officers helped a young mum who had a busted pram wheel. There were babies, kids and old folks. Spirits were high.

Excuse me, Mr Jack Nicholson...

"Why, you little..."

Sharknado!! Serious balls, sharks in tornadoes!!

Sharknado poster at the American Film Market 2012, I think.

I can't remember which came first - the fake Hurricane Sandy news about sharks having landed on people's backyards, or this news from the American Film Market about an actual movie from mockbuster schlock house The Asylum.

Previous credits include Almighty Thor, Transmorphers: Fall of Man, Sunday School Musical, Titanic II, Nazis At The Center Of The Earth and Mega Python vs. Gatoroid.Funnily enough, recently I've watched a spate of dodgy shark movies - Shark Night (2011), Bait 3D (2012) and even Tintorerra (1977).

That really got me in the mood, so I went to the supermarket and got me some shark meat...

Pretty cheap, compared to other oily fish of the same kind.

James Bond exhibit in Toronto

All the way from London...and no photography allowed? Ishhh...

There's an awesome James Bond exhibit at TIFF Bell Lightbox going on right now and I'd love to have taken a photo of every single thing on display for you, if not for the fact that it's CAD 16.95 per pax just to get in!!!

The William H. Macy refrain in Cooler (2003) comes to mind - "That's too much!"

Part of that 16 bucks must go towards paying the lady at the gate, who even had an English accent and must be some secret agent travelling with the exhibits.

Pah!

Anyway, I took photos of what's in the free areas and also sneaked a shot or two through the shutters.

So THAT'S what they call Chinese people!

So THAT'S what they call Chinese people these days!

My Paranorman Activity

"Can I help you, sir?"

Guilty as charged.

Although I will donate to the producer behind Midnight Son (2011) who actually confronted pirates on torrent sites and wrote a rather touching plea.

Ready, aim, shoot!

You're obliged to shoot straight with this urinal, that's for sure!

Pardon me for being the Johnny-come-lately in spotting this contraption at my very first Major League Soccer (MLS) match. I was at the BMO Field for the dour 1-1 draw between Toronto FC and Philadelphia Union last weekend...

"You mean it wasn't Javier Bardem in The Possession?!?!"

Separated at birth?: Javier Bardem and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.

Who was that odd-looking girl in Magic Mike? Jeng jeng jeng...

How did this girl get cast as Channing Tatum's romantic interest in a wide-release picture?

I watched Magic Mike really late in a second run cut-rate cinema because the trailer had me thinking it was a ditsy mainstream rom-com, especially with Channing Tatum and Matthew McConaughey in it baring butt to a pop tune.

Turns out that was a pretty cleverly cut trailer and that Steven Soderbergh was at the helm, so it had to have *some* artistic merit, even if it were only as substantial as the G-strings that kept these male strippers within the last realms of decency.

For what it's worth, the movie had its moments but I was taken aback with Cody Horn, an actress I'm not familiar with. Unremarkable in stature and appeal, she was piss poor to the point of distraction. How can a girl who looked like this and acted in a role like this get cast as Channing Tatum's romantic interest in a wide-release picture?

A goldfish worries...

A goldfish worries...

Silly movie merchandise #1: Paranorman adhesive bandage holder

Paranorman adhesive bandage plastic holder. UIP's doing.

Wow. Just what I needed. My plasters have been so disorganised all my life.

Expendables 2 Scotiabank Theatre Toronto premiere

Expendables 2 Scotiabank Theatre Toronto premiere

Today my wife and I drove more than an hour from Square One in Mississauga to the Scotiabank Theatre in Toronto, on account of the movie passes we got for the Expendables 2 premiere at 7.30pm, courtesy of Alliance Films. What a fucking waste of time it was to be... and I'm not even talking about the movie...

Will Asgard save Kuala Lumpur?

Project > Contract > Crony > Potholes > Fix potholes > Project (Repeat x1000000000000000000...)

Will Asgard save us?

Now everyone can rape a minor!

Take a good look, folks. This is the guy who was convicted of statutory rape of a 13-year-old girl but lives to skip jail, courtesy of Malaysian justice.

Why watch BRAVE when you can watch BRAVER?

Why watch BRAVE when you can watch BRAVER?

Batman Begins... from scratch.

There's a storm coming, Mr Wayne...

Life after the Batman trilogy

It's a tough economy. Take it easy, folks.

One billion Chinese people

China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

- A. Whitney Brown

The day Batman shopped at Walmart

 

Guess who came to the Walmart next to my apartment?

What kind of a children's book is this?!?!

As I was shopping at one of those retail stores that like to put up a sign that reads "CLOSING DOWN SALE - EVERYTHING MUST GO" for about two or three years, I stumbled upon this curious children's book for a dollar...

Triple-boob mutant whore, 22 years on

A close friend of mine passed away a few days ago. He was the one who last commented on this blog.

Worst Cinema Seat & View. Ever.

"But mister... even though I'm just a contest winner, don't I deserve a better seat?"

The Creation Of A Pussy

   Seven wise men with knowledge so fine
   Created a pussy to their design.
   First was a butcher, smart with wit,
   Using a knife, he gave it a slit...

A pigment of your imagination?

I wrote this joke article back in May, for a magazine that died before it could even publish its first issue.

Since I didn't die and the article is still here, why not let you guys read it, eh?

The cat that drank eight bowls of water

Did you hear about the cat that drank eight bowls of water?

When you eat your popcorn...

Recently, the rubbish I watched include Brave (2012) and Gerimis Mengundang (2012) while the good flicks were Rock Of Ages (2012), People Like Us (2012) and China Heavyweight (2012).

Michael Yearns To Rock

Have a good Friday, folks.

Jokes from The Crow

Have a good day, fellas.

Chris Hemsworth & The Adoption Joke: Dumber than a bag of hammers?

I'm about a month late on this one - but it still puzzles me enough to put up anyway.

In The Avengers (2012), Scarlett Johansson playing Black Widow complains that  Loki has “killed 80 people in two days”, to which Chris Hemsworth's Thor replies: “He’s adopted.”

It's a very basic, even lazy kind of humour and I had a little giggle over it. Many in my hall laughed out loud...

The Old Man at GSC Paradigm Mall

An old man approaches the box office of the newly opened GSC Paradigm Mall with a live chicken on his shoulder...

I went to the zoo today...

I went to the zoo today...

Lunch with Garry Kasparov today

Today I had lunch with Garry Kasparov, the world's most famous chess master...

Lower crime rate in Malaysia?

Share this if you've been affected by the recent spike in abductions, hit-and-runs, GTAs and snatch thefts.

Share this if you believe that this city deserves a better class of criminal - certainly not the petty mat rempits who are risking their lives for RM30.

What does a Malay girl tell her dad when she loses her virginity?

Wanna hear a really sick joke I heard in a movie?

7 things I learned from BOHSIA: JANGAN PILIH JALAN HITAM (2009)

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I would like to thank...

I would like to thank...

The Tumbler in Toronto

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Greetings!

Have you seen the Batman?